Tuesday, November 30, 2010 '

Life is Such a Boredom.....

LiFe Is SuCh A bOrEdOm...

Life might be meaningful to others but it's a boredom to me...
I feel like a heavy rock that no one cares about...
They do things the way I hate...
They make me heartbroken.......
and I don't understand why...
They're my family...
but they don't seem to understand...
What I like and What I hate...
They don't even care...
They make me go through pain...
They make me do things I hate...
They force me to do something I really wish to give up...
Sometimes I feel like I'm a little bird,
trapped in a cage that I wish to escape...
but they are the ones who put this lock...
Trapping me inside...
They refuse to let me out...
Making me suffocated inside...
the things they do,
the things they say,
are like strangling me to death...
Sometimes I wonder why do they torture me...
they say it's for my own good...
but that's not what it seems to be...

They leave me alone at home...
only asking me to study...
I know my grades are bad but...
I really want to rest...
they ask me to do housework...
because they're busy outside....
but have they spared a thought?
for that injured leg of mine...
I'm a human too...
and i don't think i came here to suffer...
It seems that only me and daddy are...
cause mum is always the one who boss us around...
perhaps because she's the oldest....
but daddy deserve he's rights in the family...
I don't want to see daddy suffering...
but i can't do anything to help...
Daddy is the most caring person at home...
at least that's what I feel...
He spares a thought for me...
and don't really scold...
although he likes to nag
but he's at least better than mum
cause mum dosen't nag...
but instead she scolds...
I don't know what to do...
but I wish to give up....
mum always go back on her words...
never let me do what I want...
simple things like going out with friends,
she never allow me to...
changing hps?
don't even need to consider....
since July or Aug, I told her I want to change specs...
but I waited till now,
I haveb't stepped into a spec. shop yet!!
she promised to buy a MP3 or ipod since P2...
I never touched one yet...
I really question myself...
if i even understand her...
but the only thing I know,
she prefers Jie than me...

It has been days since I talked to him and natt...
I can't talk to them is as good as putting all the sorrows in myself...
the sorrows that seems to be as heavy as a rock....
no one to carry with me....
at least when I talk to them,
I feel more relaxed, more happy
cause I'm starting to put down the once upon rock...
hopefully they can be online later....
I really wish to talk to them.........

i'll write till here for now...
signing off,
the depressed girl

Friday, November 26, 2010 '

I'm back...

It have been days since I posted...
first was because i didn't have the mood to post...
secondly, there were too many things on my mind...
and i don't really know why...
there's a complicated feeling in me...
and i don't know how to express it with words...
but i somehow feel that i want to escape from this reality..
i don't know why but this is it...
enough bout this...

well, went to see the doctor last sat...
what i got was a almost fully recovered ankle...
and of course, a 4th bandaged leg...
but at least i can walk properly already...
however, i don't really know why but...
my left foot doesn't have strength...

and about what i did today since morning,
watched first 3 episodes of 大长今...
yup I'm re-watching the whole show...
wondering if i should download "PPS" into this com...
jie is like always using the laptop so i can't use *T.T*
i also started to watch another show Aaron炎亞綸 acted in..
if I'm not wrong, it is called 死神少女....
Lollipop's 王子 acted in the first part to!!
炎亞綸 and 王子 are so 帅!!

Mummy and jie jie started to attend Korean classes..
i started to learn some basics from them too!!
Sad to say that i have ballet classes on Sundays..
and the time clashes!! *T.T cry!! T.T*
otherwise, I'm sure I'll go for the class too!!

i guess i'm off now!! bye!!
Signing off,
Rachel Phong

Tuesday, November 23, 2010 '

a brand new day

It's 9.12 now the day is nice
a nice chat with him...
later natt, darren, haimuel and ada coming over to my place yup i'm happy at least i won't be all alone at hoome...so boring
well...i didn't expect him to be so early today...
but of course he isn't the first guy i like....
like i said the first guy never talk to me...,and i mean it
unlike him, he chat's with me, makes me laugh and i'm happy.
though he's the playful kind he sometimes make jokes he shouldn't but i think i really like him and in fact, a lot...although i say he will never take the place of the first guy, but..he might now...went for breakfast just now...it's 10.08 now

signing off,
Rachel

Monday, November 22, 2010 '

Hi people

Hi...i'm back :D
Having the third bandage on my foot now....
it don't really have a impact on me...
but seriously...the Chinese physician scared me yesterday..
here's what she did:
1)She asked me to lie sideways with the injured leg flat on the bed
2)She applied some oilmen and massaged my foot
3)She place the injured foot in between her hands
4)She pressed my foot on the the bed(wooden)
Results: A loud crack was heard!(No nid to say, it's extremely painful)

Phew...lucky for me, the pain went off quite quickly so it didn't really have a great impact^^

On Msn(People online):
-Him...
-Crljen
-Shaleni
-No one else
(but no point coz i dun even tok or chat with them...)

that's all for now...Bye!

~~BORED

Saturday, November 20, 2010 '

my love story...

Title: my love story...

Went to see a different Chinese Physician yesterday...she was nice but said some pretty weird things tat some how made me happy....first she said that i was tall and said something else that i would rather keep it a secret but just to think of those words I'm pretty happy cause it's totally what i thought for many years...i think since i was P5...from the day i saw him till now...but it also made me feel a little...confuse? well...i don't know...i keep wondering if i really made a right choice...but i know I'm happy...although i might be even more if it's him...okay I'm talking some weird things here...

Have to go back to the Chinese Physician tomorrow...9am to be exact...hopefully my leg would be better...watching "MVP qing ren"damn nice!! but yesterday watch Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part1 at 12.50a.m. seriously i fell asleep while watching...this time it isn't as nice...but i guess i slept at the right time coz i heard it was boring...i know sleeping in a cinema is like wasting money but it was boring so can't blame me...and it was like in the middle of the night plus it was a 2h+ movie so it's like so tiring...so can't blame me :P

k larh i wan watch my MVP qing ren liao...bye!

Monday, November 15, 2010 '

Pain?? T.T

back...
i'm rather late 2day...coz i went 4 acupuncture in the morning...
~~Pain!!!!!!!!!! Numb!!!!!!!!!!
now i bandaged my leg...can't touch water until wed...
~~Tight!!!!!!!!!!
whatever larh....
but i'm somehow happy coz i will not b dancing ballet for 1 whole month!!
~~okay...tat's lame...
many things have been happening...
~~he likes another girl(first guy on my list)
~~something happened...(second guy on my list)
--if u noticed, the 2nd guy changed
i'm bored....
so bye......./: :\

Sunday, November 14, 2010 '

T.T my dear dear leg...

T.T ): T.T :( T.T ): T.T :( T.T ): T.T :( T.T ): T.T :( T.T ): T.T :( T.T ): T.T :(

I had ballet today...dance for 1/2h then accidentally tripped over my own leg while spinning or rather turning....i no....CARLESS....Pain like SHIT!!

K lars...I've no mood to post so i'll come back tmr...BB

T.T ): T.T :( T.T ): T.T :( T.T ): T.T :( T.T ): T.T :( T.T ): T.T :( T.T ): T.T :(

Saturday, November 13, 2010 '

My ex-schoolmate, my ex...

Title: My ex-schoolmate, my ex...

well, the day started off in the way i didn't like but i guess it doesn't really matter...although mum had asked me to vacuum the floor and dad asked me to hang the clothes, i didn't really do even half of my job at the hanging clothes part cause dad was helping me instead...as usual, I'm all alone at home again...just finished eating my scrumptious meal and drinking my rebina (maybe not that scrumptious...), i headed home to blog...met Jiang lao shi just now...having tuition at 2.30pm later...yayaya...i know...exams are over a long long time ago...but it seems that i have to come...what else cani do??

Anywayz...like the title said," My ex-school mate, my ex..." I saw a boy(Sean Foo) who was my ex-neighbour and ex-school mate...seriously...he was like mad or something...he moved far far away but he came all the way to Geh Poh for his Takuan-do...1 word...weird...k larh..i shall stop nagging going fb-ing so bye...

Friday, November 12, 2010 '

Seriously...HeartBroken..

Title: Seriously...HeartBroken..

Like what the title of my post is "Seriously...HeartBroken..", a crack is appearing...not because of anything but him....Seriously...I miss him...He was online just now...i felt like chatting with him but didn't know what to say...anyways, he's always in the "busy" mode...

i'm getting crazy soon enough...looking at the basketball court and people playing basketball makes me think of him...his looks might not be perfect but i'm not sure why...i really like him and in fact, a lot...so what should i do? I don't know...

For all i know, the people i'm missing are not just him alone...but my BFFs too!! Although there were many things happening throughout the year, i feel that i'm seriously an empty shell without them...it's like i need them but when i'm with them, i tend to feel like i'm extra...with the feeling of being left out?? i don't know...

What should i do next?? at home, i'm bored...i feel like going back to school right now....haix...i'll end here today...dun feel like doin anything....bye readers...

Thursday, November 11, 2010 '

The start of my day...

A pretty wonderful start today...
~though i was being forced to do some household chores right at the start of the day..i hate it!! It's like so troublesome but nevertheless, i did it..or at least i would..

Well...the moment i switched on my com, i helped daddy change him password for fb coz it seems that someone has been hacking him account and scolding ppl...which of course, i had been one of the many ppl...so irritating... but i really wonder how they did it...

for a moment or so, i realised i was pretty bored...till i went to watch some episodes of catch-up tv (Mrs P.i)...and i'm here!! he isn't on9 today...so i sort of went searching for his blog...but to no avail...the problem here is i don't think he even has one!! Well...i'm almost crazy about finding things about him but i'm not that into the other guy on the other hand...and i think natt and maybe sab should know what i'm toking about here...

Natt and Haimuel isn't on9 today...so it is equivalent to no audi mates nor chat mates...and that's why i'm pretty bored down here and some how i felt like coming up with this post...but after writing or rather typing this much, i seriously dunno what to type next....so i guess this is a unwilling goodbye...oh ya... finally had the whole com to myself today after the pestering my sis gave me yesterday...she isn't at home now coz she's out for 'O' levels....i truely pity her....but it's my turn to work hard next year....for streaming...hopefully i can get the "wanted" subjects...

anyways i shall say goodbye to my dear readers >.-
BYE BYEL:)
♥ >.< ♥ ^.^ ♥ >.< ♥ ^.^ ♥ >.< ♥ ^.^ ♥ >.< ♥ ^.^ ♥ >.< ♥ ^.^ ♥ >.< ♥ ^.^ ♥ >.< ♥ ^.^ ♥

Wednesday, November 10, 2010 '

i'm missing him n someone spoiled my day....

i'm tuely missing them...seriously...i can't seem to take him out of my mind...
i'm getting crazy bout how things work....i seriously can't concentrate in anything and everything...why is this happening??
someone spoiled my day today...just by what i saw...
it's not that i don't care or anything...but it seems that i'll suffocate when i see her and the rest of them?? or at least 2 girls who seemed kind enough but isn't from the day i stepped in...i truely don't understand why i myself have to suffer all these...is not that i wanna ignore them but i don't know how to face the truth...i wanna give up on that hope of ming but it seems that i can't let go...the once upon dream of mine has been destroyed from how they treated miie...they say they won't but they do the direct opposite...so how in the world should i find the path i should go? just like what Ms ang said...i have to think about it and make a decision that will make me HAPPY...so what should i do??i don't want to let them down but neither can i survive the torture they give me..mentally and physically...making me all stressed up, making me want to turn my head and walk away...i truly don't know what to do...i hope someone would tell me the answer...
From the first day i stepped in, i realised the happiness they feel when they are together...the bonding...to the type of sound they produce...their chit-chats to whatever they do together as one...they stand together every single time...that was what it seemed to be but all was nothing but a lie...they haven't been like that ever since i started heating the first stroke...everything changed...everything.. They said they wanted us to be together as one but that's not it! they did everything they could to teach us...n give us that sort of scolding...so WHAT'S THE POINT? i don't know but i'll be strangled and i'll suffocated just by seeing them...i feel like hiding or even escaping...but how long can i do that? so i rather choose a path where some of my friends are, a "no-stress" place...

i don't feel like staying on so i'll come back soon enough...

Thursday, November 4, 2010 '

Just a little bored at hm...

TODAY IS CLASS OUTING DAY!!
but i'm totally not looking forward to it...
coz even if i do, i can't go...
so wat's the point?
i always can't go for things like this...
coz i've to listen the..."one thousand and one" reasons my mum gives to push that wishful thought off my mine head.
I'm rather the only one in this family who can't do things the way i want..
not saying that jie does but at least, she does get more freedom than me....watching movies and going out with frenz were things that she coud do with her frenz...but i can't...and when i say she does it, i mean at my age which is SEC ONE!!
Mum is totally 偏心...she said she would buy jie the hp she wanted or rather "upgrade" her HP after jie's 'O' Levels which is ending in about 2 weeks time...and i think her next move is to cut off my line or let me stay with that miserable NOKIA phone that nobody in this age will appreciate...and mind you...it's third hand (1st used by my mum, then my dad, then miie) okay? so wat's the point? it dosen't even look like a mobile phone to me anymore!!

but what i was cosidered happy about yesterday was going out with mum...went to central point with mum...took some photos and ate korean food for luch which was especially delicious except that the portion was too big for 2 coz we ate till the extend that our stomach almost burst!! Did some window shopping and went up an escalator that brought us from 7th floor all the way to the 11th...it was quite scary when u look down and u can't imagine how hard mummy was squezing my hand...the same thing happen when we took the lift down to the 1st floor...u can actually feel yourself dropping downwards very quickly...and i only found my hand hurting after the "dropping flight" with mummy coz she pretically treated my hand as a STRESS BALL!! after that and went to the central or main libary in Singapore which is @ BUGIS...i can actually tell you how both our feet hurt at that point of time coz the transport we took was not our car but the MRT...so we pretty much of walking and i rather count it as exercise....left the libraary at around 7.30 to 8pm...went to Jurong Point(JP) and met up with jie at FEAST...ate pepper luch for dinner...went home, took a shower and watch tv from around 9.30 to i think 12...i don't no wat i was doing but i no i made jie pretty fed up with miie before she went into her sweet dreams...and that's how the day ended....oh ya...if u wanna see some of the pics, i might post it on facebook...so...check it out when u have e time kaies?